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The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy: Characteristics and Functioning

The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy
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What is the Gottman Method?

A method of couple therapy designed to strengthen loving relationships.

Why do relationships collapse? Is it possible to find a scientific method that makes it possible to identify the factors that maintain and destroy the relationship? Doctor for this purpose. John Gottman and his wife, psychologist Julie Gottman, undertook a long research period on romantic relationships.

Together, they created the Gottman method of couple therapy. This type of couple therapy focuses on helping couples resolve conflicts and build healthier relationships. In this article, you’ll learn about its features, usage, and seven principles that can help you maintain a loving relationship.

Gottman Method for Couple Therapy

Gottman Method for Couple Therapy is a type of couple therapy developed by Dr. John Gottman, a professor of psychology at the University of Washington, and his wife, psychologist Julie Gottman.

In addition to his work as a psychologist, John Gottman has a mathematical and statistical background and has studied different couple relationship patterns for over 40 years. He relied on science and statistics to try to understand vague and ephemeral things like love, but he found it to work.

Seven Principles of Loving Bonds

Working in clinical practice with more than 3,000 couples of all types, Gottman should govern healthy relationships so that relationships are long-lasting and instill happiness. Both parties have created a list of seven principles.

These principles, also known as homes of healthy relationships, provide a metaphor for building a home and imply a relationship that allows you to simultaneously have a home and a home. These seven principles are based on two qualities that a coupling member must have: commitment and trust.

1 Respecting Difference

Empathy is essential to building a healthy relationship. Therefore, the couple’s two partners must consider each other’s preferences, respect them, and share these benefits at specific times. The two members of the

The couple does not have to agree on everything, but they listen to each other, respect each other and accept that they are different people with different concerns and needs.

2. Showing Affection

The second principle of the Gottman Act of Couple Therapy is related to the expression of affection and praise for other partners of the couple. Both partners in the relationship must recognize and appreciate the benefits of the other.

3. Problem Solving

Couples need to acquire the skills necessary to resolve conflicts and problems. Some ideas include gently starting a potentially conflicting conversation and trying to repair the behavior that harmed you to maintain an emotional connection with your partner, it is called emotionally focused couples therapy retreat.

Negotiation skills (which may be an agreement or “compact” with a couple that both parties make concessions) and commitment are very important here. It is also important to be tolerant of each other and share concerns. In this sense, the couple is a “team” and seeks the happiness of both.

4. Creating Love Cards

Gottman talks about this concept, hinting at a mutually shared perception of each other’s world. So here, the two parties must know how to enter the emotional world of the other and that they know their aspirations, values, and hopes.

The goal is to enjoy the process and build a common path.

5. Show interest

It is important that both partners are interested in what the other is explaining. For this reason, sharing moments, having different conversations, and listening is important.

In this sense, the aspect of strengthening the relationship is expressing this interest and gratitude to the couple; I feel they are valued.

6. Dealing with Conflicts

The Gottman Act of Marital Therapy highlights the important difference between “dispute resolution” and “conflict management.” Gottman believes treatment should focus on improving conflict management rather than resolving it.

This is explained by the fact that in relationships, there is always a conflict in maintaining a healthy relationship. In other words, conflict is unique to love relationships (and all kinds).

Therefore, the goal should focus on managing these discrepancies rather than simply resolving them (because this is also impossible and unrealistic in practice).

7. Creating a Common Meaning

The final principle pertains to strengthening relationships that result from the contributions of both partners in the relationship.

Therefore, each must give value to everything a partner achieves. The goal is to find and create the meaning of a shared relationship in which the two parties contribute and are nurtured by each other’s contributions.

When can I use the treatment?

The Gottman Act of Marital Therapy
Photo by Vera Arsic

The Gottman Act of Marital Therapy is used at all stages of relationships to educate the two elements of the couple in a healthy relationship pattern, from the early stages to the fierce stages of conflict when events such as unfaithfulness occur. You can use it.

In addition, studies conducted in connection with the Gottman method of couple therapy suggest that this type of therapy may be effective for both heterosexual and homosexual couples and couples of different cultures, sectors, and economic positions. Indicates that there is sex.

Factors Predicting Divorce

However, the Gottman method of couple therapy does more than talk about principles and variables that help make relationships work and last for a long time. He also talks about factors that predict divorce and explain the peak of a couple’s marital crisis.

These are the insults, defenses, criticisms of the other (especially about his manners and personality) by one or both partners of the couple, and the obstruction or refusal of interaction or communication by one or both partners.

Reflection, The Gottman method of couple therapy is a form of scientific and research-based treatment developed by Gottman couples. Therefore, its validity and empirical evidence are high.

However, it is important to remember that each couple is unique, and, as a therapist, if you choose to use this method, you need to maintain a flexible approach. In short, it is convenient to adapt to the patient’s needs when needed.

In addition, it is important to note that practicing the Gottmann method is not an easily applicable treatment and must be practiced properly. Training gives us the confidence to know the method directly, apply it individually and adapt it to our clinical practice.

What is the Gottman test?

Developed by Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman, the Gottman Relationship Test automatically assesses a relationship’s strengths and challenges and provides specific intervention recommendations.

How many sessions is Gottman therapy?

This section describes the process of relationship counseling using the Gottman method. The duration of treatment depends on the severity of the problem being treated. The average duration of treatment is 6-12 sessions (including assessment).

Is the Gottman Method legit?

According to the results of this study, the Gottman method can be used as an effective treatment to improve marital relationships, adaptation, and intimacy. Therefore, researchers, therapists, and other authorities must pay special attention to this method.

Is Gottman religious?

Gottmann law is based on research, not on a particular philosophical or religious ideology.

How is the Gottman test scored?

For trust and commitment: 50% or fewer = need improvement. 51% or more = strength. In the 12 areas of scale and chaos, the guidelines for interpreting the score are 20% or less = intensity, 21-40% = borderline, and further evaluation is required. 41% or more = Need for improvement.

What happens in Gottman therapy?

The goals of the Gottman Act include deepening intimacy and friendship, dealing productively with conflicts, and building a life with a common purpose. The Gottman method involves adapting principles from research to each couple’s unique patterns and challenges.

Is EFT or Gottman better?

While EFT focuses on emotional coordination and recognition, the Gottman method provides a practical tool for creating more positive experiences between partners.

What percentage of marriages does Gottman successfully predict will divorce?

John Gottman of the University of Washington, a leader in dr-couple research, said that after more than 20 years of research, the only best predictor of divorce is when one or both partners in the relationship show disdain. I concluded that there is.

How much is a Gottman assessment?

Members of Gottman-related examinations are free of charge. Once approved, there will be a $ 29 fee per couple. This can be paid by you or your customer. This cost includes automated digital scoring of assessments and specific recommendations for clinical feedback and PhD intervention.

What is Gottman connect?

Created by Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman, Affective Software, Inc. and the Gottman Institute, Gottman Connect is a place where professionals, their clients, fellow couples and individuals can take advantage of the latest research-based assessment and welfare tools.

Can the Gottman Method save a marriage?

However, Gottman Method couple counseling will help you master the seven skills that will lead to a successful relationship. It has the best track record of any counseling method in improving your relationship. The Gottman Act can even save a marriage from divorce.

How can Dr. Gottman predict divorce with 94% accuracy?

One of the reasons is the doctor. Gottman’s ability to see these things happening early and predict divorce is that they can also measure the patterns that their disagreements tend to take. The most important aspect of predicting whether a marriage will end is the couple’s attempt to relieve tension.

How much does couples therapy cost in California?

Couple therapy usually costs the same as individual therapy, but some therapists charge more for the couple’s work. There are no rules about what a couple therapist or therapist can claim. In the San Francisco Bay Area, couple therapy ranges from $ 120 per therapy session to $ 250 per therapy session.

Why is marriage counseling so expensive?

Yes, and this is why marriage and couple therapy are so expensive: Therapists who (really) specialize in couple therapy have extensive and costly training that qualifies them to do the job. These professionals have at least a master’s degree, and many have a Ph.D.

How much should therapy cost?

Average treatment costs typically range from $ 65 to $ 250 per hour. In most parts of the country, one can expect to pay $ 100 to $ 200 per session. Some factors that can affect the price of treatment are Therapist education.

Can couples therapy make things worse?

Those dissatisfied with their marriage may seek help from a mental health professional. Unconscious treatment can exacerbate the situation. I’m not talking about bad couple therapy, but a therapist who isn’t trained in effective couple therapy can do more harm than good.

Is it too late for couples therapy?

It’s never too late to go to couple counseling. Even if you can’t save your marriage, at least you can understand that it’s time to move on, and your counselor will guide you through the process.

Should a husband and wife see the same therapist?

No law prohibits therapists from meeting two people who know each other or even two members of the same family. Elections may not even take place in some small communities. For example, a high school or university may have only one mental health therapist.

Why is therapy so expensive?

To get a license, the therapist must have a lot of training and years of experience before he can work. After all, the advice is expensive because there are so many invoices to pay: rent and incidental costs. They must pay state license fees and annual membership fees for each license.

Why are therapy sessions only 50 minutes?

For a good reason, Sigmund Freud started a weekly 50-minute therapy session over 100 years ago. Some are obvious, such as time as a convenient unit of time, clients who need to return to activity, and therapists who need to write notes to prepare for the next client.

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