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10 Questions You Must Ask Your Partner Before Getting Married

Questions You Must Ask Your Partner Before Getting Married
Photo by Євгенія Височина on Unsplash

It may be that at the beginning of the relationship, everything seems like honey on flakes, a perfect world where problems do not exist and where you only see yourself surrounded by chocolates and perfection; However, as the time of coexistence progresses, everything changes, especially when it comes time to talk about marriage and their next life together.

Although the stars do not write the future of your courtship, and although the variables can change from one couple to another, what is certain is that, based on certain questions, you can know more or less what kind of future awaits you. Therefore, here I share the 10 questions you should ask your partner before getting married.

1. Are we going to have children? Yes or no, and why?

In reality, many people prefer to wait for the exact moment to know the answer to this question, but this issue is one of the most important when a couple is preparing for marriage.

If you don’t want to run into surprises immediately, it’s best to make everything clear from the beginning: do you want children? How long are you going to wait to have them? What happens if one of you can’t procreate? Will they take care of themselves with a contraceptive method or not? What will their roles as parents be like once the little ones arrive? As you can see, there is a whole science behind having a child, and if you dare to answer these questions, the process will surely be kinder to you.

2. How are we going to divide the expenses? Who pays what?

Another of the crucial issues and one of those that have to be explained with apples and pears. Definitely, before getting married, it should be very clear what the budget will be like once they start their marriage, how the expenses will be divided, and what will be the role of each one in this matter (surely there will be guys who prefer to pay everything, or else surely you want to contribute much more to everything that has to do with your home). Before thinking that you will magically fix all these issues, better take the time necessary for both of you to be very clear about how your performance will be on this issue. The fewer gray areas there are, the better!

3. How are we going to solve problems? What did your parents do when they argued?

With a little organization, everything can work! Of course, they must be aware that, although they will surely have many good days, there will also be times when both will show their true colors, and it is better to be safe than sorry. It would be great if they agreed if they would have a specific space to discuss, or if it will be completely forbidden to discuss inside their house.

It is also good that they are clear about whether they can yell at each other even a little or if everything will have to be talked about in peace. If they need a point of reference, it will also help them to analyze how their parents argued, since surely through them, they will be able to repeat patterns or, failing that, forget about negative behaviors.

4. And what about religion? Are we going to have some faith or not?

This topic seems the most “moppy,” but it is very helpful to consider it before getting married. If one of you professed a faith since you were little, and the other rarely visits a church, then it is better than from the beginning, you agree on what this topic will be like in your marriage.

It may be that religion is one of the essential elements for some of you, and in that sense, it will be necessary to see how much the other person will give in or how much they will have to find a middle ground for everything to work.

Although this topic is easy to handle while you are alone, you will have to give it a good thought before the children arrive; otherwise, they will feel lost. If they have a different religion, then all the more reason to agree as soon as possible!

5. What happens if I get sick or lose my job? Do you enter the Quite or not?

Let’s see, and although marriage is assumed to be a lifelong commitment, some moments will surely test your values scheme.

Therefore, considering the financial part, it is important to know what would happen if one of the two becomes seriously ill or loses his job. How will the dynamic work? Will they be able to survive with the income of only one?

Will the other person have to work more? Do they have some insurance? Are they willing to face the most severe tests? Or do they stay? Sometimes it is convenient to put the most outlandish scenarios on the table to find out how your partner would react; If they are not willing to go into the game for both of you, then you better think twice before saying, “yes, I do.”

6. How important is sex?

And no, it is not really about creating a physical dependency with the other person, but there must be an intention to know what the perspectives of each one are on this point.

From the outset, sexuality is one of the ways that will strengthen your intimacy to the maximum. It is a channel of communication that, apart from seeming like a movie of those half-strange channels, is a way in which both coexist without having to worry about anything else.

It is a way of starting a dialogue while enjoying each other and having fun like never before, so it is very worth knowing the importance of this point in your relationship. Seriously, don’t forget to talk about this topic.

7. How do you need to feel, my love? What do I have to do?

The most common thing would be to think (and conclude) that saying “I love you” every day is enough; However, each person feels love differently. Some need to spend quality time with the other person, receive gifts and have physical displays of affection, affirmation, or acts of service (if you need more help, then buy “The 5 Love Languages” on Amazon .

This book will save you of a mega rush). Once they are clear about it, it will be easier to find the right paths so that your partner always feels loved. If they need to be reminded how special they are, do it! If you need to feel a hug or that you fill them with details, take advantage of the occasion and pamper the love of your life!

8. What are the things that annoy you about me?

At this point, it is important to clarify the behaviors that they can do without. This may be because your partner is annoyed that you are on your cell phone all day checking Instagram (oops, haha.) or that you are always on edge because of work pending. There is a need to clarify whether the behavior is appropriate for the other sex or if it can be changed, as well as establish a balance so that both can live happily with their weaknesses. It is not about changing completely but about reaching an agreement so that everything flows better in your relationship and you forget the constant problems.

9. What do you like most about me? How can I join you?

Now, after the negative, what better way to praise all those qualities that made you fall in love with them. For that, I highly recommend that you both make a list of what you most admire about each other: their way of being, their tenderness, the way they deal with problems, the will they have to take care of themselves despite everything, the desire for pushing themselves to be better people; wow, there you can even include the physique without any problem! The goal is for your boyfriend to feel completely validated and confident that you are the best person to make a dream team in his marriage (the same goes for him, huh?).

10. What will our future look like?

Without a doubt, one of the most important questions you should ask before reaching the altar. It is vital not only that both share a similar set of values but also that they have a clear and harmonious vision of the future that awaits them.

  • How do they see themselves in 10 years?
  • What will they be doing?
  • Where will they live?
  • Will they already have children or not?
  • Will they have a stable financial situation?
  • Will they travel or prefer to always stay at home?

Together or each one will continue doing what they know on their own? All these answers will give them a clear outline of the future panorama of their relationship because otherwise, they will not be able to live on the chemistry and romance of the first years. Really.

Now you are more than ready to encourage yourself to take the big step. Remember that marriage goes far beyond the religious ceremony and that party you dream of so much; it is a life formula you will have to solve every day.

The challenge is not only to make love and fight sometimes, but to create a dynamic where both, as well as being best friends and husbands, also assume themselves as a team that is capable of all things.

Good Luck!

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